I can spend hours online (shamefully it's true). Blogs, facebook, email, news sites. Cycling between. Very little time is actually spent doing what I need to get done on the internet, but rather searching, scanning, looking for news. For a way to connect. Connect to others (even if in a false sense), connect to the world (please do not let me be this small). Seeking, searching for that connection.
It gets this way mostly at night. With every intention of journaling, I go to bed early, only to open up my laptop to "just check my mail." Before I know it, my bed is calling me and I have no time left for journaling. As I lay down to sleep, a small whisper, "What about me." I promise tomorrow there will be time, but tomorrow is just like today.
This connection, seeking, searching, comes from a perceived need. A need I'm searching for a news story to fill or someone's daily account to fill, but really under it all, is a need much deeper then anything one or thing could fill. I'm hungry for God and trying to mask this hunger with other things. Starving for God. It's that realization that whispers for me to stop, close the computer, and pray. Connect, search, seek God.
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